030 - the cold
it feels like a dagger through your back and under your ribs and across your arms. from the moment you wake up it envelops you like a blanket.
it feels like it penetrates every aspect of your being, every inch of fragile skin, each limb and joint and digit. even the beating of your heart feels sharper, more jagged.
at times like these, you sometimes find yourself yearning for some kind of tragedy, some event to happen to make it real, to justify the way you feel, to legitimise the sense of fatalism you've never been able to stop yourself holding.
over the past little while, but especially these past few weeks, you've had your tolerance for the cold get worse. or rather, you've become much more aware of the absence of warmth. you know exactly why.
it's getting to your fingers now. you want to get back into your bed, but you know it won't really help.