032 - i promise
you write in the second person to detach yourself from your work, from your vulnerability. makes it easier to to project it onto another person, even if that person is still yourself in the end. but all your favourite songs are so deeply personal, so deeply belonging to their author, and you love them for that.
i write in the second person to detach myself from my work, from my vulnerability. makes it easier to to project it onto another person, even if that person is still myself in the end. but all my favourite songs are so deeply personal, so deeply belonging to their author, and i love them for that.
how long can i go burning my life down every two years before i legally have to kill myself i wonder
for nearly as long as i can remember, i don't think i've been able to let myself feel straightforwardly excited for things. projects, opportunities, change, anything. my brain wants, needs, to find some aspect of fear, to temper things, to prove to myself that my neuroticism has a purpose.
so many of my friends graduated uni and work in engineering now. i wish i knew how they do it. i never want to understand how they do it.
heart
i played many nights a whisper recently, a short, narrative game about having a single chance to perform a ritual. at one point, the game tells you i love you, and i cried harder than i have in a long while.
ill get better soon. ill get better soon