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it was a hot day, i was winded running up a hill when i first saw you through the harsh morning light.
it took me a second to recognise you with how still you are. i caught myself willing for you to run when you heard me.
i walked past you, pretended i didn't see you. some part of you caught in my head, pulled me back. i knew i wouldn't be able to forget myself if i just left you to fate.
but you still didn't respond. i jabbed at you, hoping for something, praying for something, and i saw you jerk away from my touch.
i wanted to get closer, to touch you properly, to hold you. i was scared. i was too scared.
i wish i cared enough to. it hurts me that i didn't.
i heard what i knew could be your death approaching, and the regret hit all at once. i've never been able to look away in times like these. i would say that i was hoping it would pass you by, that you wouldn't twitch into your end, but really, my mind was empty as i watched. and mercifully, once it had passed i saw you still there. i had to leave.
perhaps i write this to confess, to try to seek some kind of absolution. were you looking for a point to this story? sorry.
the next time i came back, you were gone. i'm sorry.