043 - sibling rivalry
over the years, I've found myself with a couple of sisters, whom I hold very dear to my heart. i think it's easy for people like us to forget what familial love actually feels like, how wonderful it can be to have for someone.
sometimes i forget that i've also got a brother.
i read a truly wretched article today, but one that touched on the feelings of family. of growing up, growing apart, of the way that one day you realise just how much you've all changed. many of my sibling relationships are quite young, all things considered, and i think it's easy to forget how this all happens with time.
i took a lot from my brother growing up. both in good ways, and bad ways. it's easy as an isolated child to see yourself as an extension of the people around you that you're close to. it's something that i've been trying so long to unlearn the habit of, that i think i've changed so much in over just the past few short years.
i have truly awful long term memory. it's so easy for me to condense things down to the last version of them i remember.
and then i can spend a day more or less pleasantly with him, and i'm violently reminded of all the other parts.
it's no surprise at all to me how much i seek out this kind of relationship with people, how much i enjoy and crave it. it's getting to be a bigger family than i ever thought i had, but i'm so thankful for it. i don't think i'll ever be truly able to not love and treasure what i have, with all of you, no matter how it ends up changing.